I’m there for you...

This is going to be short! I haven’t posted in a while. I got this crazy idea to sell young living products. It’s not that I don’t WANT to. I LOVE their products. It’s that I actually have to be around people to sell stuff. I hope someday I will be successful but for now it’s time consuming and crazy. 

Today is a tuff day. I’m battling depression and bitterness. This is how I feel! I don’t want to feel like this. I know that God gave his son so that I didn’t have to battle this! 

So today I have to make a choice to not express what I feel. To only express it to God. To not act on how I feel. And I need to remind myself that it’s ok if I don’t feel 100% today. I need to rest in Gods grace even if my kids don’t understand! 

If you are reading this and you have Lyme please, please know you are not alone. You are loved. If I could see you in person I would tell you that everything is going to be ok. I would help you. But most of all I would let you know that I understand! I know what you are battling. I know how hard it is! And you will make it another day! I would tell you that you need God in your life because Jesus is your only hope! Please reach out to me if you have Lyme. 

Feeling good on vacation

WI was so blessed and got to go see my mama for SIX days AND spend Resurection Day with her.  I felt great the whole time. (God knew what I needed)  I’m amazed at how good I felt but, I probably ate a little to much junk food and sugar. Yesterday as we were starting to make our way home I felt it coming on. That all to familiar feeling of oh crap this is going to hit hard if I don’t start eating right and get some rest. We made it home Monday and today is Wednesday. It’s been a fairly normal day as far as the amount of exhaustion and pain i normally deal with. So I will keep this post short. I’m still trying to desperately catch up and life is getting away with me. We have already had 1 urgent care visit for a burnt leg and a ER visit for a head wound requiring 5 stitches. -yep that’s one a day- I couldn use a good day of laying around in jammies all day and playing with my kids. Here is a few pictures from our vacation.   Me and my mama.

I thought I would talk a little bit about how I pack all of my supplements for a trip. As you noticed in the previous post I talked about supplements I take 3x a day and supplements I take 1x a day. Well I make up little pill packs for 3x a day in sand which baggies. And the same with the 1x a day . Then I pack my tincture bottles and powders. It makes it manageable with so many different things and times to take them. It also saves a lot of space! It’s does require a little dedication of time into seperating pills into bags but totally worth it. 

Feeling good on vacation

I was so blessed and got to go see my mama for SIX days! I felt great the whole time. I’m amazed at how good I felt but I probably ate a little to much junk food and sugar. Yesterday as we were starting to make our way home I felt it coming on. That all to familiar feeling of oh crap this, is going to hit hard if I don’t start eating right and get some rest. I thought I would talk a little bit about how I pack all of my supplements for a trip. As you noticed in the previous post I talked about supplements I take 3x a day and supplements I take 1x a day. Well I make up little pill packs for 3x a day in sand which baggies. And the same with the 1x a day . Then I pack my tincture bottles and powders. It makes it manageable with so many different things and times to take them. 

Today is a hard day...

Today is really hard. I’m laying in bed once again. My two younger boys are glued to the screen once again. My brain is left wondering if i will die of this terrible disease once again. My heart is so heavy so I called my husband in tears crying to him about how I’m sick of not being able to be a mom. I’m tired of not being able to help my kids that are behind in academics. My husband called our Pastor who called right away to remind me that God’s grace is sufficient and even though they are really going through it right now too, he callled to encourage me! It instantly made me feel better that someone understands because his wife is going through the same thing. So the story is that Gods grace is sufficient and there is no condemnation in God. He will step in and give me Grace where I fail with my children. 

My daughter has a choir concert tonight. I do not see myself getting out of bed today. If I can’t drag myself to her concert the condemnation will set in once again and I will need to remind myself that God’s grace is sufficient. She will be really mad! But God’s grace is sufficient! Today is really hard but God’s grace is sufficient! 

The fighters. Part 2

                                 Ok. Here is one thing I realized is I AM NOT A BLOGGER. My grammar is not perfect and I’m very cut and dry. I hope this does get better as I go but I just really feel like there must be someone this can help! So here is part 2 of the supplements I take. I call them my fighters. They help kill the Lyme and co-infections and get them out of my body. 

The first one is Foundation formula I buy this from my dr office and it has all kinds of good stuff in it. Japonese knotweed, turmeric, and some other things that are scientifically proven to kill Lyme. Next, the little tiny bottle squeezed in between the two big bottles. It’s hydrocortisone. I try very hard not to take pharmaceuticals but sometimes they are necessary for a short time. So I take the hydrocortisone for adrenals but am weaning off to see if there is a difference. Next is maca which is great for hormones and libido. Then comes the Re-shi it’s a mix between the shiitake mushroom and the rieshi mushroom if you have never done research on mushrooms they are amazing for your body. They helped me sooooo much with appetite. Remember I said I was anorexic. I could not gain weight...not even an ounce. I decided on my own to stop Lyme treatment for a bit and treat for parasites and take the re-shi. I slowly gained weight and look way healthier than I did. I was a scrawny 100 pounds and now I weigh 110. But mushrooms help with so much more. They regulate the immune system. They strengthen the immune system. If you can afford cordycepts they are really good for adding extra oxygen into your blood and body. Their is a story behind athletes using these in China to compete in the marathons. Next is chlorella to help detox and carry the Lyme out of my body it also aids in detoxing heavy metals. Next is lauricidan, it’s derived from coconut and they are little pellets I take them to help with the Epstein Barr infection and it kicks like a mule so you need to take it slow. Next is panthonic acid. It’s a “B” vitamin and water soluble so it will not build up in your system. It helps your nervous system. 

On to the tinctures. I make most of my own tinctures. Which I am mighty proud of. The first one is the A-L complex I do not make this one it has 14 different herbs in it and it’s a bit kicker. Remember I said I felt like I hit a wall in treatment so my dr changed things up. Well this stuff he said will make you herx BAD. He wanted me to take only 1drop and increase 1 drop every 2-3 days. Of course I was thinking what is one drop going to do when o take 20 drops of the other herbs. So I started out with 3 drops 2x a day instead of once a day. It KICKED MY BUTT!!!! The herxing was so bad and now I’m stuck in a bad flare. I backed down to 3 drops once a day. I would have to say it’s worth taking. I can feel it working but please start slow. It’s also very expensive so it’s a good thing I make all of my other tinctures . Next is cryptolepis it aids in killing the babesia which is a close cousin of malaria. When I first started taking this it also made me herx pretty bad. I also take malarone for the babesia which is a malaria medication. I take 2 pills for three days of the week. It’s still hard to get used to but I wanted to make note that when I started taking them I had a bad die off reaction and  broke out in petechiai on my stomach, neck and legs. Babesia lives in your red blood cells and puts up a good fight. Next is sarsaparilla I make my own and it’s the only one I claim to taste good. It smells like vanilla and is seriously yummy. It helps carry endotoxins out of your system. Next is hawthorn I take this for my heart, it is literally a heart tonic. It does so much for it. From strengthening it to help regulate your heart rate. I don’t make my own of this but probably will very soon. Herbs are expensive to buy and when you take them 3x a day it’s so much money. Next is cats claw I have been taking this the longest and it helps treat the Lyme. The bottles in this box are detox factors which has a ton of supplements to help detox it is also very expensive and I go through it fast so I don’t take it all of the time meaning I take it 3x a day until it’s gone and then i do t buy more for a while. It is wonderful for supporting your immune system and detoxing. Next is Beta Glucane for my immune system and last but definitely not least is green tea extract. Guys this is a powerful antioxidant and would help anyone. I think everyone should take it. You can but it with no caffeine if you are sensitive to caffeine. I do not take it three times a day like the other things. I only take 2 at lunch time because mine do have caffeine it helps a lot to give me a tiny kick. 

All of this is kind of overwhelming! But slowly you learn what helps and what doesn’t. I recommend adding only one thing at a time unles your dr suggests a different approach. I’m not going to lie all of this is very expensive and has become a huge part of our monthly budget. I buy most of my supplements from amazon and I like the “Now” brand some things I buy I make sure are more “top of the line” like probiotics and fish oil. The other things I get in the Now brand because I feel like it’s an in between being not the best but definitely not the worst. I also get labs done every month to make sure my liver and kidneys are not being affected. Herbs are very tolerable and will rarely harm you. Just one herb is great for many things where as a pharmacutical is good for one thing but cause many side effects. Oh I almost forgot I do take charcoal to help pull out the dead Lyme which constipates me like no other and you have to keep your bowels going otherwise all of the die off is stuck in your bowels or re circulating in your system so I also take a generic stool softener and sometimes psyllium husk. 

Please remember there is always hope and if today is a bad day God’s mercies are new everyday. Tomorrow will be different!

What I take (supplements and pharmaceuticals) part 1

I take a lot of pills daily. Some of you will be shocked at how much I have to take just to keep going. Having to take supplements among doing some other things like eating healthy and not pushing yourself to hard is one huge reason why Lyme changes your life so much. It makes you completely rearrange your. You can’t miss to many doses of supplements or you have to joy of starting over or herxing. So if you go somewhere you do the best you can at taking as many as possible with you but there are so many that it’s nearly impossible...and traveling...we won’t talk about that yet! Ok so this is what I take once a day. Sorry for the very messy counter. 

I will try and go over everything with you and why. 

Vitamin C I take 2,000 mg, vitamin D (not in this picture) I take Kirkland brand 2,000iu, stomach enzymes (also not in this picture) my stomach is really messed up. It always has been very sensitive since I was little but is even more so now. I have gastroparisis so I take as many supplements as I can to help my belly. Iron that is easy to digest and not hard in my belly, Fish oil and I think it’s important to get a more expensive brand of fish oil it really plays a big part in supporting our bodies. Ashawaganda root it’s a good supporting herb that helps with anxiety and is a great immune modulator, chase tree to balance hormones although I don’t know how much longer I’m going to take it. One thing it does help with us regulating your monthly cycle. Probiotics for my stomach. I get a ton of naseua and some weeks are worse than others, on these weeks I will take a few probiotics throughout the day. They also aid in digestion as do the stomach enzymes. Acyclovir for an out of control Epstein Bar infection. My dr said I will take this for three years. Reglen also for my stomach and naseua. Lexepro for anxiety and mild depression, coq10 for my heart and is such a potent antioxidant. Methyl B-12 the reason I take this instead of regular B-12 is because my dr is suspecting methylation problems and so he wants me on this until I get the blood work done. DHEA because I had low levels of something or another that effects my adrenal glands. Kelp helps with detox and high in iodine. L-Tryptophan I take this for numerous reasons. If your dealing with Any kind of chronic pain it would be a good idea to do a search on this supplement it’s good for so many things. 

So this is everything I take once a day. Usually at night. I also have a whole slew of tinctures and supplements I take 3x a day. The ones above I call my supporters and the ones I will blog about tomorrow I call my fighters. Also another important thing to remember is if it’s Lyme you are dealing with you have to remember that it’s a very stealthy bacteria. It’s smart so you have to be smarter and constantly change up your treatment regimen. I just changed from doxycycline for a year which didn’t seem like it was doing much to an herbal tincture (mixture) that I take only one drop of and it kicks my but. I hope there is someone out there that this will help and remember there is always hope and everyday God’s mercies are new!!!!

The good the bad and the ugly!

It’s morning....mornings are really really tough! This morning I have a headache the size of our country. It’s so bad I might throw up. Every morning I take tramadol and clonazepam. This morning I added zomig to the cocktail. This is a pretty normal thing. I don’t have much time to write this morning. I am trying to get kids ready for school. I want to write more later on the protocol I use because I know it will help some people. I just wanted to document some things really quick. This is me while trying to sleep last night. 

I was in so much pain I took everything in my arsenal so that I could fall asleep. My legs were in so much pain they felt like they were in a vice grip. I’m talking deep pain all the way to the middle of the bone. The muscles ached so deep that it felt like every nerve was screaming at me! I payed here and prayed and thanked God for my kids and my life. For the wonderful church I go to and eventually I fell fast asleep. 

This is me on a bad day too. This is why people have a hard time believing that someone like me is in so much pain. Because I can dress up and look nice when I can drag myself to the bathroom. I remember this day my pain level was about a 6. It’s not just the pain though. It’s the derealization that really gets to me. It makes it hard to function, hard to drive, hard to do anything! I still have hope that I won’t be like this forever. Yesterday was a bad day but God’s mercies are new everyday. Today is a different day so I don’t have to live in the pain of yesterday. Three things I’m grateful for are 1) my kids aren’t fighting this morning 2)my legs don’t hurt nearly as bad as they did yesterday and 3) i have a God that understands what I’m going through. 

I would really like to get this blog out there for people that have chronic pain. Not just Lyme disease. Anything from fibromyalgia to MS I am eventually going to write about things that help and routines I make with my 8 kids. I know it could  help a lot of people just to know there is someone else out there that understands what you are going through. 

Since my title is the good the bad and the ugly I wanted to post a picture of me on a good day. 

I confess I don’t take the best selfies. However I want everyone to see that there is not much difference from the picture above. Sometimes you can see it in my eyes that I am not doing well. But if you do t know me well or not close to me I can fool a lot of people. Please please understand that there are people out there that are in chronic pain. You don’t know who they are or what they are going through. Be nice to everyone because it could change their day! I hope you all have a blessed day and I’m hoping to be able to write about my protocol later.